I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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