Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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