I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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