dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize