Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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