You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize