Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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