It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize