My Higher Power is John Stamos
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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