Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize