Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
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He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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