I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize