What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we made out on top of his cat.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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