I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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