I'm going to jail i love you
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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