Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize