i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
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You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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