I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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