Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I want a musical about memes.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize