Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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