Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize