I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize