so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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