did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
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I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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