I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize