so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize