I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
porn star boner night. come get it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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