omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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