ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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