I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
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Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
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NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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