do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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