I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize