He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
whose ass print is on the piano?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
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There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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