Pappa wants mamma naked
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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