Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
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im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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