Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
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Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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