Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
someone owes me an orgasm
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize