is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize