Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize