WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize