I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
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So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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