Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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