Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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