Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize