I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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