My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize