Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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