Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just want nice things and good sex
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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