I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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