she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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